Other Places

The Dragon Strands. They are described for us by one of Balrog Cuttings resident dragons, Tamfiiris Gloruloke:

Up the river and a little to the side are the Dragon Strands. They are easily recognisable because they lie beside the river, and have a dragon on them. At times the dragon is not there, in which case the Strands can be recognised by its absence.

But let's pretend we spotted it. It's busy blowing soapbubbles that sparkle in the sun, and looks friendly and safe enough to disturb.

'Hi,' you say.

'Hi,' says the dragon. 'I'm Tamf, and these are the Dragon Strands. This is where I am when I'm not... Somewhere Else.'

You will instantly agree with her that it's a fine place to spend a lot of unspecified time.

'It's sparklingly gret. The banks become flooded every once in a while. When I feel like desoaking, I climb up on Sunset Mountain or something to dry. The top of Morwen's tower is good to perch on as well, but she gets mad if you break off the spire. Nayway, most of the time the banks are dry. Sometimes I like to lie here and listen to the river flowing by. Othertimes I fire up a bonfire on the beach and a coyple of firweorks in the sky, and host a party. I don't usually have to invite eople, the scent of melting CHOKLIT is enough to get them invading.'

'The sand here is eksellent for making sand castles and for burrowing. Not only are the towers and crawlways easy to shape, they also shine and sparkle in the sun. In fact, the sand here is commonly believed to contain ickle pieces of gold, diamond and kvicksilver. Well, maybe not kvicksilver - that would be fairly hard to mold.'

'The Dragon Strands were so named acos of the miniature dragons that live around the water surface. These charming wing-salamanders are shy by day, but delight their audienece with a melodious meeping concert at night. The minidwagins are, in turn, highly enertained by all display of light and sparklies in the darkness, and so nay party held here will turn noisy by its own accord.'

'Due to a favourable deal with the Weather Gods, there is nearly always sunshine on the Strands - at least in the day. Therefore a favourite acitivity here is tanning, which is all the more pleasant because disturbing vehicles such as scooters, helicopters and broomsticks are prohibited.'

The dragon is likely to have fallen asleep in the sun by now, so that her speech to you is actually one written in a colourful little paper. It goes on to say:

'In a cool palm groove off the beach, the only establishment in the vicinity can be found. It's a thatched hut selling cool drinks, ice cream and CHOKLIT¹, and also advertising a health-promoting sparklie treatment. Tamf the proprietor of the Sparklie Shack can be summoned by the ring of a bell, or else customers can take what they want and leave the appropriate amount of flokarinoes in a coconut nearby (the fun part comes when Tamf tries to find out which nut has the money inside). Rumour has it that if Tamf is there and is feeling ambibulous, she will mix a drink from her infamous lellow rum and force the visitor to taste it. eViol tongues, and eople who have tasted it, have claimed this is the real reason her parties are laways so sparkliferious.

Across the Brandywine from the Dragon Strands lies the Sarcasta Desert, the result of uncontrolled sarcasm and dry wit. The Sarcasta Desert is famous for the annual Burning Ent Festival. It is rumoured that beyond the Sarcasta Desert lies the fair land of Dor-Selar, famous for the manufacture of sense.

To the west of the village you will find Caernarvon Castle (a trophy of WalesMoot 2002 - apparently the Welsh haven't yet noticed it's gone), in the middle of Crater Lake. The Castle is also home to Celaeno's observatory and a small but well-stocked souvenir shop. The lake is eminently suited to all kinds of aquatic sports, and is host to the famous floating chapel of Our Ldaz of teh Floating Stone.

Far to the southeast lies the Nameless Volcano, also known as the CHOKLIT Volcano - the reason for which should be obvious once you've tasted a crumb of cooled lava...

Also mentioned here is perhaps the most dangerous place in these lands. This is the infamous Bard Pitt. Unfortunately, no one knows where it is. All that we know about it has been learned from observing those that have fallen into it. And thus all we can tell you is this warning, and once again we quote Tamf:

'be VERY, VERY carfuel! once fallen itno the Bard Pitt, you will find it very difficlur to get out. your head will be filled with nonsense rhyme, your feet will tap the ground rhythmically (not to mention what atrocities you could commit should you find a couple of twigs, or worse, rocks), your eyes will glaze and your hair will turn lellow.'